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Lessons learned from being a cheapskate
by Mir KaminMy name is Mir, and I am a cheapskate.
I'm an unapologetic cheapskate, in fact. More accurately: I'm a braggart of a cheapskate. Tell me you like my shoes, and rather than responding "Thank you!" like a normal person, I'll probably grab your arm and say, "I know, aren't they awesome? And they were originally $120 and I only paid nine bucks!"
People sometimes inch away from me when I do this. Hey, that's fine. They probably paid full price for their shoes. Suckers.
For me, frugality has always been a way of life; it's my inclination and I don't find it particularly difficult. But I realize that 1) this isn't the case for most people and 2) even for folks like me who find joy in every little bargain, there are lessons to be learned. So here's what I would consider my top five take-aways from the life of a cheapskate, applicable both to my fellow cheapies and those looking to become more frugal.
1) Frugality can be learned. I often hear from people that "I'm not like you, I don't have the patience to hunt around" or "I just can't be bothered." Maybe in a different sort of economy that reasoning would fly, but I don't know anyone who wouldn't benefit from a bit of belt-tightening these days. But here's the thing: It's really not that hard, especially in this Age of Internet (hello, comparison shopping from home in your jammies). You can figure out ways to trim your budget, and there are as many ways to do that as there are personalities; find the method that's right for you, rather than declaring you simply can't. Not everyone is cut out for Dave Ramsey's plan or Suze Orman's plan. But I promise that there is a plan that will work for you, that you'll be able to stick to without much difficulty.
2) The lesser plan you stick to is better than the grander plan you can't tolerate. Little changes are nearly always preferable to larger ones, because you're more likely to actually do them. We've all heard the math on cutting out your morning Starbucks or your lunches out, but going cold turkey is going to feel like deprivation and eventually you'll not only cave, you'll spend even more because you'll feel justified. If you eat lunch out five days a week, take your lunch from home one day a week, to start. Dream big, start small. You'll get there.
3) Planning (and spending) ahead saves money. I buy a lot of things in bulk, and/or on sale, as well as doing things like buying toys on clearance for my "gift closet" (which is then our source for birthday party gifts and the like). Sometimes you have to spend money to save money. Of course, this can only be done if there's enough wiggle room in your budget to allow for slightly larger expenditures now to save money later. Planning dinner menus has cut down on my grocery bills, too, and buying clothes on clearance for next year for my kids has saved me a ton of money. But you've got to have some long-range vision to take advantage of these sorts of things.
4) Too much of a good thing is... well, too much. Not every bargain is a bargain. If you don't need it, it's not a bargain, no matter how cheap it is! Stocking up your gift closet with items you'll be able to use for hostess and birthday party gifts is great. Stocking up your gift closet with items nobody wants or needs is a waste of money and space. Again, think big but start small. Ask yourself before every purchase, "What is this for?" If you don't know the answer, put it down and walk away.
5) There's a difference between being frugal and being miserable. All things in moderation, right? If you're doing frugality correctly, you're saving money and more or less enjoying yourself. If you're financially miserable, something is wrong. It's okay to not be frugal, sometimes. We love making our own pizza at home, from scratch, but sometimes it's just more convenient to order out. I don't beat myself up over it; my budget is structured such that I know we're saving enough money in other places that I don't have to sweat the occasional meal out or special event. The right spending plan has a bit of play in it, so that you don't always feel like you have to watch every penny.
I think that most people face budgeting and cost-cutting as a necessary evil. Trust me, it can easily be turned into a sport, and that takes out quite a bit of the sting. Don't believe me? Let me tell you about this sweet leather coat I got for twelve bucks....
BlogHer Contributing Editor Mir also blogs about issues parental and otherwise at Woulda Coulda Shoulda, and about the joys of mindful retail therapy at Want Not.
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Comments
I'm cheap and proud!
I will also say that something I really like about the internet is finding people who are cheap, like me!
When people tease me about being cheap, I know I'm in good company. :-)
~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings
Did you say cheapskate?
Yup that's me. *raises hand* I too love a great deal and will tell everyone about my "steals". Whenever my family wants to buy something online they are like "Hey Dree can you find me a great price on such and such?". I guess they are also cheap but don't like to find the deals. I don't mind, I love it.
I also live buy the if you don't need it don't buy it motto. I have seen tons of awesome deals that I wanted to jump on but didn't because it didn't pass my do I really need this test.
Lemme know if you find a steal on a MFC Laser Printer. I am in the market for one under $200. (Now I sound like my family. LOL)
I'm Polly, and I'm a cheapskate too
When I was in college if somebody complimented my sweater, I couldn't resist saying, "Salvation Army--2 bucks!"
I like to think the obsession to get a better deal has vestigal roots in our hunting and gathering forbears.
I get a weird pleasure of seeing how long I can go with only a few dollars in my wallet.
I think it's an illness!
Polly Poorhouse
http://economiccrunch.blogger.com
Me Three!
My name is Jeanne and I am a frugal cheapskate! :)
Makes a lot of sense!
Makes a lot of sense! :-)
Linnea
http://madhattersapprentice.blogspot.com/
Thrifty is Nifty
There was a publication that I got as a book (at a yard sale) called The Tightwad's Gazette. Unparalleled frugality.
I must say that sometimes I don't share the cost of an item or the fact that a pair of shoes or earring that my snobby friend raved over came from thrift or Payless or whatever. Just can't give her the satisfaction some time. (Hee-hee)
blog.candelariasilva.com
Good and plenty!
Frugal Is The New Black
I believe that being Frugal is not about being cheap, it's about being wise with your money ... for instance, buying a $100 pair of shoes that are classic and will last you for years vs. buying 4 pairs of $20 shoes. The latter will cost more upfront, but in the longterm you'll spend less, waste less and is better for the environment.
Kudos to you for writing this. People need to know that being cheap isn't something that you should be ashamed of. Frugal people unite!
Great topic!
Giyen
Bacon Is My Enemy
Lastest Post
Pigeon Heads Are Crunchy Things
Learned Cheapskate
You are right about being able to learn frugality. I'm living proof! After years of spending I've done a complete about face. It's become almost like a game to see just how much money I can save. I'm getting a little obsessed with it!
Stocking up your gift closet with things no one wants sounds like one step away from becoming a hoarder. Yikes.
Great article.
Mary@SimplyForties
http://www.simplyforties.com
Good quality
And like Giyen says, buying good quality goods that will last for years is both satisfying and good for the environment.
Think of everything as an investment in the future and in hope.
Linnea
http://madhattersapprentice.blogspot.com/
Judging your skill
Spending wisely is a skill and why judge it negatively.
There is a distinction between frugile and stingy and I would like to avoid mixing the two and not confuse frgile with stingy.
I love how you explain what frugile spending consists of. I cannot find any fault with it, it makes very good sense and I have certainly seen good value in this.
However if it was about stiginess then I would not have felt good about your post.
Stingyness is going without and not feeling good about it.
Stingyness is about holding back and normally creates little enjoyment.
I would say, go for wise spending and enjoy your purchases and don't judge it negatively.
It is a skill you have and be proud of it and thanks for your lessons.
Wilma Ham
www.wilmasblog.com
Can Totaly Relate
LOL when I read this. I just bought a pair of shoes for $10 that were originally $150. And yes, if someone compliments me I have to tell them how the shoes were such a bargain.
Agree, great topic.
jessica
www.zakkalife.blogspot.com
Staying Home Really Helps
Yes, I guess you could say I'm a cheapskate, though where I come from it's called being a Canny Scot. I too own the Tightwad Gazette, though I did not buy it frugally at a garage sale -- wish I had!
Being a homeschooler and also working from home really helps in the frugality department. I don't need to obey a dress code for work, my kids (pre-teen and teen) don't care that I shop for their clothes inexpensively, and what's more they don't have friends who care either. We can even cook from scratch twice a day if we want and I have time to pick out the best deals at the supermarket because hubby works from home too and I don't need to take distractions with me when I shop.
The only things I splurge on are my cable service, books and snacks. But lately I've solved my book splurging problem. It's true, I can now visit a bookstore and wander the aisles and feel as free as a bird. I can even leave the store empty-handed -- that's without being forcibly removed by hubby or kids! How could this happen? I must admit that it was unexpected. It wasn't on my gameplan when I started my own book business, after all, who could be satisfied with books from just one publisher? Nonetheless, as each new Usborne book entered my home I began to find myself reading every one contentendly, no matter whether it was designed for 4yr olds or teens. Then one day I discovered my book compulsion missing in action at Barnes and Noble. What a pleasant surprise!
Here's to frugality and my fellow cheapskates!
BookLady Alison
GreatFunBooks.com
UsborneKC.com
Homeschoolers Guide to the Galaxy
cheapskate
INNside Innkeeping in Montana
ah yes subscribing to my theory .. "less is more"
gp
Right on the money!
I've just joined Blogher and with your post I feel like I've come home! I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying "oh you love my sweater? Got it at marshalls for $19 bucks!" From my earliest shopping excursions with my mother I learned to shop the sale racks and dig through bargin bins, and oh how I enjoy finding an originally high-priced item at a deep discount. It's absolutely the BEST. This feeling is actually what prompted me to start my blog - I want to find deals and share them with others. So happy to see that there definitely "others" out there who enjoy a bargain just as much as I do!
Ncole
The Sale Rack