Go With the Flow: Take Your Mom (and everyone else) to BlogHer
by lauriewrites

"Go with the flow, Laurie. Go with the flow. It works every time."

So said my new friend Frances Ellen as we walked along Fisherman's Wharf, in the middle of a day where I was distinctly not following this directive for a variety of reasons, and she was nudging her daughter and my friend, BlogHer Health and Wellness contributing editor Catherine Morgan, to buy a tote bag in which to...er, tote the conference swag back to Florida.

I randomly ran into them as we were checking out of the hotel, and spent a lovely day with them in San Francisco. Virginia deBolt has already mentioned this mother-daughter power duo in a post about the BlogHer Open Space, but because this year's conference had me thinking a lot about family, here they are again.

I learned many things from Catherine and Frances during our day at the wharf among them: what a Webkinz actually IS, that Frances writes fiction at Story of Nadia, and that blogging in this family is a three-generational affair. Catherine's 14-year-old daughter Nicole has her own spots. She's Princess Nicole, where she blogs about the things she loves, which currently include the aforementioned Webkinz and Miley Cyrus, and waxes political at PunditGirl. You go, Nicole (and update PunditGirl! I want to know what you think!)

The multiple-blog thing must be genetic, because if you ask Catherine where she writes, she'll probably laugh and direct you - rightfully - to her home page, which links to all of her sites. Women4Hope focuses on women's issues, chronic illness is addressed at Living With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and there's a little bit of everything at Be the Change You Want to See In Yourself. But all I - and perhaps you - really need to know about Catherine is that she is one of the kindest people I've ever met, that last year at BlogHer when I was having an attack of the "oh my God will they really like mes" at the contributing editor meet-up, that she came over to me, hugged me, and told me that meeting me in person was one of the main reasons she was so glad to be there.

I know, right? And she doesn't even drink.

Hanging out with her and her mother made me a little bit sad that my own mother and sister weren't there, because this community has become such a part of my daily life and I like to share those sorts of things with my closest people. And Frances herself makes the whole "where are the elder bloggers?" as moot of a question as the "where are the women bloggers" that was the reason for all of this BlogHer action in the first place. In fact, when a woman in the Westin bar made a crack about not getting the attention in hotel bars that she used to, Frances said, "Wait until you're my age. Then you'll know what invisible feels like." As much as I can't imagine anyone would respond to her in this way, I know the ways of the world enough not to disagree, and admire people like her who are showing up and proving that you ignore any smart woman, of any age, at your peril.

So yeah, she's very wise, so if you see her online or in person, I'd suggest you go sit by her.

There were lots of family groups of two or more at BlogHer this year. It was nice. Many of them involved moms and babies, for
sure. Catherine from Her Bad Mother and baby Jasper were in the house, and
if anyone has a photo of Catherine breast-feeding at the Online
Activism panel, please share a link so I can pass it on to her.

Antonia of Yet Another Bloomin' Blog came from London to read (hilariously) at the Community Keynote. Ian and baby Esme joined her. Gena Haskett posted this video of her keynote reading.

Skye Kilaen was there with Boy Detective, whose late-night/early morning desire to party had her pacing the hotel lobby with him when I was coming in from breakfast for much less responsible reasons. Becky from Miss Priss was there with her beautiful boy. Here's photographic evidence from Kirk Brooks. Now home, Becky writes on the good and bad of conferencing with a baby. Here's a snip of the good.

I loved being able to go to my sessions without towing him and the
stroller and diaper bag (in addition to my camera and other junk). But
I also loved being able to run upstairs and see what he was up to. I’ve
never seen such a family-friendly conference in all of my years. Where
else can you find a lactation room at a con? Not any of the other
conferences I’ve been to.

I ran into a few pairs of sisters, and have promptly forgotten their names. Sisters and soon-to-be PBS Super Sisters Kristen Hammond and Jen Lemen sat side-by-side as vendors in the BlogHer Swap Meet. Jen brought along Soul Sister Odette Umurerwa, who co-wrote her beautiful zine "Let's Learn to Help Ourselves and Others." I'll state from personal experience that it'is an excellent pay-it-forward gift, and I'm so glad she lives up the street from me so I can save her the shipping for more. Buy a copy here. And even if the famous "Mommy Needs a Cocktail" shirts don't apply to you, best believe I picked up Kristen's awesome "Bartend...I mean, Barista" coffee travel mug.

And the BlogHer founders and staff showed up with the partner power!
Chris Carfi has Lisa Stone's - and BlogHer's - back on Twitter and elsewhere with
humor and information 24/7, and also has the best t-shirts. BlogHer Community Manager Denise Tanton and partner TW were there, and although I shamefully did not meet TW, I didn't follow Denise around too codependently. BlogHer co-founder Jory des Jardins wrote much more eloquently about this aspect of the conference:

What kinda brings tears to my eyes is not only the dedication of our
team, who stayed and smiled throughout the event and made it their
mission to make others smile, but also their SPOUSES and SIGNIFICANT
OTHERS who did the same...Kristy's better half, Pete (dude, did you actually help
all the sponsors pack up their stuff at the end of the day???)...And, of course, Chris Carfi (who just sort of reduces stress when he's in the room and endured being called Mr. Stone) and my Sweetie, Jesse,
who always claims he's not going to do very much and then fixes things.
He even let me know when my thong was visible--you just don't get that
kind of help normally.

For some things you just need family, which is why immediately after the conference I took a lovely but harrowing bus and train trip down the California coast to see my sister in San Diego. Which also means that I can see the ocean as I type this. How cool is that? I'm going to help her set up a blog while I'm here, because we've been talking about it forever and France and Catherine - and all the others - inspired me to get it in gear. Now, if I can get my mom past the question she asked again on the phone today - "How do I get into your blog again? - we'll be doing something. Because whereas my mom is totally ready for a party like BlogHer '09, I'm not sure y'all are ready for her.

Did you bring your family? Did you know it was cool if you did? Do you blog with yours? Does your sister or your mother or your brother or your aunt blog? Please tell me about it - because I really want to know.

Finally, a big thank you to Catherine and Fran for saving me at a time
when I really needed it, for being happy to see me when almost a
thousand friendly faces had left and I felt really weird in a strange
city. You two have the mom and daughter (plus blogger) thing down, and it made me feel very much at home. Which - oddly - becomes ever more important when you're far away.

Laurie White writes at LaurieWrites.

Comments

 

Wish I had

Hi, Laurie. I, too, was struck by the family feel at BlogHer and noticed more than once how "together" the BlogHer family was. It was impressive. But even more impressive was your keynote and being in the Race/Gender session with you. Even though your family wasn't with you, I feel comfortable saying that I'm sure there were many wishing they could claim that title.

Lara

 

Notions of Identity

 

You people have got to stop making me cry.

Just kidding.

Lara, that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me in my life, no exaggeration. Thank you.

I'm really glad I chose to go to the Race/Gender panel and of course the keynote was really special too. This year has been pretty challenging and I knew this event would bring gifts but had no idea how awesome they would be.  I hope we get a chance to talk in person at an event in the future. 

Again, thank you, this meant a lot to me. 

Laurie

LaurieWrites

 

How wonderful

redheadshesaid http://kidsofqueers.blogspot.com/

 

I really envy people who do things with their mom. I wish I could. I look ofrward to the day my daughter is old enough that we can blog together or otherwise hang around Fisherman's Warf. What a great post! 

 

These ladies are a great team.

One of the greatest things my mom has done for me throughout my life is actually enjoying and spending time with me. It's something I take for granted because it's so constant, but it's really true.  I'm sure your daughter will feel the same.

Laurie 

LaurieWrites

 

Catherine is

One of my most favorite people to see at any Blogher confererence, and meeting the incredibly awesome Frances Ellen made it that much more amazing.  Truly, I've never met such kind women in my life.  I was awed to see their commitment to each other.

 

--
Carmen

Keep posted with my life on my blogs:
www.momtothescreamingmasses.typepad.com - a story of one woman's insanity with her six kids
www.theelffdiet.com - how I lost 80 pounds with a New Year's Resolution
www.deepsouthmoms.com - How's your mama and 'em?
www.zwaggle.com/blog - Do Your Share

 

Commitment is a good word.

It's nice to be able to be friends and enjoy each others' company along with being mom and daughter.

 Thanks, Carmen.

Laurie

LaurieWrites

 

I brought my husband, two

I brought my husband, two small children, and my mom along with me. Although I didn't get to take part in most of the parties, it was so nice to have them back in the room waiting for me. It was the longest stretch of time I had ever been apart from my baby, so it made me a little sad when I saw other babies in the sessions. On the flip side, it was nice to get a break from the kids and spend a whole day focused on blogging!

I love the fact that the conference was so family friendly and that babies were welcomed, not shunned from sessions.

Looking forward to next year!

 

Lisa

www.workoutmommy.com

 

Now that's bringing the family, Lisa. : )

I think the fact that babies are there is pretty great, too, and that parents can come and feel comfortable with that.

Glad it worked out so well for your family. 

Laurie

LaurieWrites

 

Swag, Who Me?

Thank you, Laurie, for the sweet words. It was Catherine's and my pleasure entirely to spend the day with you at Fisherman's Wharf. I'm relieved to know you made it to your sister's in San Diego.

What a wonderful post. (Although I could've lived without you blabbing to the world about the amount of swag I toted home.)

Frances Ellen is the Narrator of the Story of Nadia - The continuing fiction story of a card reader named Nadia.

 

Now Frances....

We must own our swag figuratively as well as literally.

If it makes you feel any better, the ONLY person who helped me with my huge suitcases - who was not a transit employee, by the way, because they refused to touch my luggage - asked me if there was a person in one of them. ;)  Did not tell him it was Method soap, microwave popcorn and Oops wine charms. ;) 

Laurie

LaurieWrites

 

i was so jealous!

 I LOVED meeting both Catherine and Frances Ellen this year. And I loved the idea of a mom-daughter duo at BlogHer. And did you know that Frances Ellen won a beautiful leather bag at Macy's and GAVE it to her daughter.

Lucky Catherine. ;-) 

 

 Laurie

www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com

 

They attract the Lauries apparently. ;)

 And yes, Catherine may have mentioned a time or twelve that her mother gifted her with the bag she won at Macy's. In fact, I have a photo of her posing with said bag that I'll put up on flickr when I have the 24 hours it'll take me top handle all of them. ;) 

Laurie

LaurieWrites

 

I am a lucky girl...

Hi Laurie. I am a lucky girl, and it was so great to share the experience of BlogHer with my mom, we both had a wonderful time. However, I would be surprised if anyone didn't know that my mom won the Dooney & Bourke bag from Macy's, and then gave it to me...I made a pretty big (borderline obnoxious) deal over it.

;-)

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
at catherine-morgan.com, The Political Voices of Women, Care2 Election

 

The whole family at Reach Out?

Last year TW and I brought Prince J(14) and Michelle (18) (Michelle blogs, the Prince does not) - I'm trying to figure out how to bring my three big kids and my mom to a Reach Out event... so y'all should come to either Greensboro or Atlanta (probably Atlanta...) and meet them.

BlogHer '09, expect to see at least RJ joining us (though they are all begging to attend based on Prince J and Michelle raving about it all year long.)

(And Laurie, are you sure you didn't meet TW and just don't realize it? Cuz that's weird if you didn't.)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

 

Awesome.

I want to hit as many Reach Out sites as I can to dually bask in BlogHerness for a month while scoping out communities where I might want to move when I'm done with school. I've been to Greensboro once and loved it. SO...yes, I'll be thrilled to meet the family and I know a bunch of others will too.

And no, I did not meet TW. I saw her and perhaps felt awkward bothering her? Talking about her in the third person? I'm such a dork. In any event, it was me, not her. Lol. So hopefully at Reach Out and definitely '09. 

Laurie

LaurieWrites

 

Thanks for the kind words Laurie...

Thanks for your kind words Laurie. It was so wonderful hanging out with you on Monday, and it made winding down from the conference much easier for me. I'm so glad we ran into you on the elevator...You're the best!

:-)

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
at catherine-morgan.com, The Political Voices of Women, Care2 Election

 

I'm just speaking the truth, lady.

And it clearly worked out most excellently for me, as well, so I'm glad we could help each other out. : )

Laurie

LaurieWrites

 

Moms and daughters at BlogHer

 Minnie and I brought our mom to BlogHer.  We had a great time.  I enjoyed getting to introduce my mom to so many amazing bloggers!  Lisa Stone complimented my mom on her great DNA, which made us all laugh. 

I think she might have expected it to be mostly younger people at the conference, and she was pleasantly surprised that there were a lot of other mid-life bloggers present and speaking up. Her comment afterwards was something to the effect that the women around her will never seem ordinary or unnoticable again; any woman she passes on the street might have a really interesting life - and might write about it - like the bloggers we met at the conference.

 

-----------------
Liz Henry
lizzard@bookmaniac.net
Contributing Editor, World and Latin America

 

That's awesome, Liz.

Now that I read this, I think I may have sat at a table with your mom at the open space but I didn't know it was your mom. : ) Cool.

I also love what she said about everyone having stories. It is so true and I think what moves me most about the connections that I see and feel at the conference is that everyone there is meeting/talking/reconnecting because they dug each other's story - either that day or years ago. Love it.

 

Laurie

LaurieWrites

 

More moms ... and babies!

Paull Young brought his mom Cate, Mothergoosemouse brought her baby Oliver, and Canape brought BOTH -- blogging mom and blogged-about infant, and it was wonderful. 

WhyMommy

http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com & http://motherswithcancer.com

 

Thanks, WhyMommy!

Those folks are new to me so thanks for pointing them out. : )

 

Laurie

LaurieWrites